February 26th, 2015
The Dangers of Online Chat
A couple of months ago we launched our online chat service. It’s been a great success…but occasionally there’s a bit of mischief….
Here’s what happened today after we asked if there’s anything we can help with…
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: No
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: Actually…
John: Hi – can I help?
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: Yes thank you.
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: I’m starting a business creating rabbit hutches…
John: We can help with this sort of business – is there anything in particular that you need our help with?
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: Yes, I’m unsure, exactly what size wire mesh to use. It’s like chicken wire… what would you John…
John..?
John: That’s not the sort of advice we give. We can help with accountancy and tax
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: hmmm… well that’s good. But I need to get this hutch specification right first otherwise the bunnies may escape.
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: I’m hoping to go global with this.
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: I need to get it right.
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: But you can sort all the money and shit right?
John: We can help with accountancy and tax – you may wish to consult with your suppliers regarding hutch specifications
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: Ok.. it’s all good. There’s a rabbit population estimated at 709 million in the world. They will all need a home.
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: Just a big idea a the moment.
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: Can I help you with anything else today John?
John: I think you’d need to consider what proportion of the world’s rabbit population is domesticated
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: … Aaaah…. so true.
John: That may reduce your market somewhat
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: But consider this John, some of those rabbits… well they are running wild and should really be housed, fed.
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: Hmmm….
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: I can also do guinea pigs.
John: You’d have to catch them first, or incur a considerable cost in employing people to do this for you. We provide payroll services to help with this
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: Great, I’ve come to the right people.
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: My nephew Billy is coming on board, so he’s the first staff member
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: Basically, he has a wood work qualification and doesn’t talk too much.
John: Given the number of rabbits in need of catching, you would need to be aware of the working time directive
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: Ok. Can I help you with anything else today John?
John: No I’m good thank you
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: Ok, thank you. Good bye.
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: Good bye.
John: Bye
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: 80085… try that on your calculator… honest it’s dead funny.
John: I only have Excel for numbers
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: Really?
John: More reliable and less mistakes
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: Oh… but you can’t write BOOBS in numbers.
John: I’d rather try it on a calculator, Excel has commas and pence which ruin things
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: Sorry I’ve got to go… my neighbour house has smoke coming from it.
John: 999
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: Is that a quote?
John: Payroll only
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: Ok… hmm.
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: Can you do any cheaper. When it’s big, then 999 isn’t a problem. The wire will cost a few hundred
John: We can discuss this later – what about your neighbour’s house?
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: False alarm… just toast. Always doing it.
John: Aj good
United Kingdom (Liverpool)…: Ok. Bye for now. I’ll call in around june, when we’ve sold some at the Ideal Home Exhibition.
John: Excellent
